What do you regret most in life

Everyone misses their friends when they are dying. The brief look that passed between us has stayed with me. I thought I knew everything and was terrified that I might actually know nothing. So with too many things in my life, I tended to hack away at them in isolation, instead of asking for help from older, more experienced folks.

But that's OK. Asking for advice is like anything else in life: The more you do it, the better you'll get at it. You'll learn to ask the right questions and disregard advice that just doesn't feel appropriate to your circumstances. Eventually, you'll find a mentor — or if you're really lucky, several mentors — you can trust. Since then I've seen an enormous piece of this earth, but 24 was the most formative year of my life specifically because I travelled, and specifically it set the tone for the rest of my life as a traveller.

Had I shifted that up I'd be 5 years ahead of where I am now in matters like confidence, experience, and wisdom, really. I had expected big-ticket items: an affair, a shady business deal, addictions — that kind of thing. I was therefore unprepared for the answer they often gave:. They suggested training yourself to reduce or eliminate worrying as the single most positive step you can make toward greater happiness.

The key characteristic of worry, according to scientists who study it, is that it takes place in the absence of actual stressors; that is, we worry when there is actually nothing concrete to worry about. This kind of worry ruminating about possible bad things that may happen to us or our loved ones — is entirely different from concrete problem solving. One activity enhances life, whereas down the road the other is deeply regretted as a waste of our all-too-short time on Earth.

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Many had worked long, hard hours, and they regretted missing the important moments in their kids' lives. I remember one such person—a salesman whose boss expected him to travel three weeks each month when he had a young daughter at home.

Although he was an excellent provider for her, he never got to know her well. As she became older, he tried to form a relationship with her, but it was too late to make up for lost time. He never fully forgave himself for choosing time at work over time with her. Remember that you have choices when it comes to your job. Choose a company that values a healthy work-life balance. It's OK to respectfully decline additional assignments that would require you to work beyond your assigned hours.

Your job is important, but there are other things in life that are just as important. Many felt that a fear of failure caused them to play it too safe. They knew that they could have had richer, more fulfilling lives had they taken some risks and disturbed the status quo. Consider making a list of everything you have ever wanted to experience in life. Then start crossing them off one by one and watch your happiness and your comfort zone expand dramatically.

Most people regretted the time they wasted worrying about things beyond their control. They didn't realize they were capable of choosing fun and happiness until it was too late.

Many people's lifelong dreams went unfulfilled because they were too concerned with trying to live up to someone else's expectations. You are the only one who knows what's best for you. Allow yourself to be open to endless possibilities. When envisioning your dream, remember the mantra , "this or something even better. Most patients thought that if they'd eaten better, slept more, and paid more attention to their health and well-being, they might not have gotten sick.

They wished they had made self-care more of a priority. I heard countless wishes from people who dreamed of making a difference through kindness, compassion, and acts of service. Many patients made the decision—oftentimes right from their hospice beds—to donate their money to charities and service organizations so they could positively affect the lives of others after they were gone.

Pick a cause that is special to you and consider donating a bit of your time or money to help someone in need. Many expressed that they had never enjoyed their job but had stuck with it year after year to pay the bills. They wished instead that they had chosen work that was in line with their purpose and passions—work that they were excited about and gave them a sense of fulfillment.

Take some time to get crystal clear on what you are passionate about. You can then begin looking for work that speaks to these passions.

Whether it's that time you turned down a last-minute Vegas vacation or your decision to not get up on stage at that concert, a lack of spontaneity is often a major regret down the line.

As we age, many people also feel disappointed about not taking better care of themselves, particularly in terms of their food choices. Considering that diet is directly responsible for approximately , deaths in the United States alone each year, it's safe to assume that many would opt for salads over cheeseburgers if they could do things over. Your health is one of those things you can rarely get back once it's gone, and for most people, that leads to some serious regrets. According to a study published in the International Journal of Aging and Human Development , 13 percent of study subjects admitted regret about not taking better care of their health.

With work, family commitments, and those futile attempts to find time to sleep, it's no wonder we have so little time for social interactions as we get older. However, try to maintain those friendships while you can, or you're likely to regret missing out. Our long-term friends who know us well and share our history matter more as we age. That time you went to that meeting instead of watching your daughter shine in her school play, or those nights you stayed in when your friends went out and had a blast?

Don't be surprised if those land on your list of regrets in your later years. Or perhaps just memories that remind us that we lived fully. Shyness is inherent for some of us. However, those fears holding us back from meeting new people and expanding our social circles can plague us later in life. And when you've done something hurtful to another person, few things feel better than offering a heartfelt apology and having the other person accept.

Unfortunately, those who miss out on these opportunities often live to regret it. Although many people tend to take their parents or family members for granted in the early part of their lives, that feeling that you could have done more to express gratitude to someone you care about is a major source of regret later on.

It's only natural to care what other people think about you, but all those concerns about others' opinions are likely to fall into your regret category as you get older. Few people look back on their life and think, "I wish I had let other people's opinions factor into my decisions more.

Most people can think back to a time when they missed an opportunity to stand up to a bully. And when that missed chance means someone else got hurt—whether that's emotional, mental, or physical pain—that regret may follow you for a lifetime.

Assertiveness is a skill that many people unfortunately learn too late in life. Failing to stand up for yourself and what you believe in often ends up being a major regret among those who lack confidence. Not everyone can make a living doing the thing they love, and that's to be expected. However, that doesn't mean you won't regret it.

According to Allianz's data, 39 percent of survey respondents admitted that they regretted not following their passion later in life.

Your larger-than-life personality may not have a place at your buttoned-up office job, but hiding who you truly are to the people who care about you will rarely make you happy. Whether you're simply toning down who you really are or you're pretending to like or dislike things just to avoid ridicule, you're bound to regret it as you age. That hunch you had about that so-called "friend? For many people, the decision not to listen to those gut feelings comes back as a major regret later in life.

Taking your life too seriously rarely breeds the kind of happiness most people aspire to have in their lives. If you can't find it in your heart to have a sense of humor about even the biggest challenges you face in life, it might turn into a regret later on. Of course, bills need to be paid and food needs to be on the table. However, for many people looking back on their lives, always putting practicality first and fun second tends to be a serious regret.

Knowing that you made someone happy in their lifetime can make anyone feel good. Knowing that you were unkind to someone, and didn't take the steps necessary to fix it? That's a major source of regret for most people. They say youth is wasted on the young, and that's undeniably true. While you may have thought you were uncool, unattractive, and not so great at 18, in your later years, it's highly likely you'll regret not appreciating that fast metabolism or the lack of responsibilities you had as a young adult.

Those hours you spent looking at your phone instead of being present? Don't be surprised if you wish you had that time back in your 50s and beyond. Anxiety and stress are unavoidable for many people, but it's unlikely that you'll hit your later years and wish you had spent more time worrying about things.

According to a report by Liberty Mutual Insurance, approximately 40 percent of the population worries every single day , but few wish they had wasted more hours doing so.

Success is one goal, but it's not the only goal people should be working toward.